Yesterday, I received my first ever piece of hate mail. Honestly, I'm surprised it didn't come sooner. I opened my myspace inbox and was greeted with adjectives like juvenile, ignorant and biased. Basically, JB was pissed off that I gave Cincinnati based Calloused a shit review. And when I say shit review...I mean shit.Let me give you a couple of highlights from JB's hate mail:
"...try seeming a little less biased when a front man pays a little attention to you. Relax, he wants to have sex with you. It happens. When you edify glam rock and trash on other local bands that are innovative and not afraid to go against the same old Buckcherry"ish" cookie cutter sound, you appear ignorant. Open your ears and shut your cake-hole. "
"On behalf of Calloused and Cincinnati, go hug a root, get bent, and kiss our Hillbilly asses."
He also called me "quasi-attractive." Does that mean he thinks that I'm kind of attractive since he couldn't come right out and call me ugly? But my favorite one liner of the entire email was when he said I was a "Glorified Groupie in Standard Issue Stripper Gear." That's just fucking awesome!
As I was reading this hate mail, I couldn't help but laugh. This dude was REALLY angry over some stupid words that I wrote on a blog that no one really reads. Wow. My first instinct was to respond to him with an uber smart ass email, but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do. On my myspace profile, I specifically state, "I'm not interested in petty arguments about how you think I'm an idiot for not liking Rush. I'm interested in well thought out debates about how I should reconsider my hatred for Rush because they really are talented musicians. You get the idea." I knew this guy wrote this email to me at the height of the emotional roller coaster that my words just took him on, so I decided to give him a break. You can't fight fire with fire. Instead, I fought it with kindness.
I simply explained to JB that we're each allowed to have our own opinions. And attacking someone's personal integrity when you don't know them is more juvenile and ignorant than me writing a shitty review. I make no apologies for what or how I write. I'm not making nice just to kiss ass or avoid hurting feelings; that's not who I am. My response to JB wasn't mean or hateful because in general, I'm not a mean or hateful person. Besides, I knew that being shitty right back to him would just cause more problems.
In the end, JB responded and sent me a very nice apology. His brother and best friends are in the band, so he was very legitimately hurt and pissed off by what I said and he had every right to be. He retracted his juvenile statement because I didn't get angry right back at him and because of that, I have gained another reader. Nice! JB made me realize that I'm totally unaware of how many people read my blog and that I may entertain or incite more people than I thought. And maybe "All the people who voted for that band should be shot" was a little bit harsh. Perhaps all of those people should just get a good punch in the mouth. I kid, I kid...
The moral of the story, kids, is that kindness goes a LONG way. JB saw the error of his ways because I extended some kindness his way. In return, he extended some kindness right back to me and now we can laugh at this entire situation. Look, I may be a sassy, opinionated bitch, but I'm still a super nice gal at heart. I know that not everyone who reads my blog is going to agree with what I have to say; I don't expect them to. What is life without a little dissonance? It makes things interesting. Please dear readers, feel free to contact me if you like or loathe any ideas or opinions I put on my blog. I'll post all comments (unless they're REALLY foul). Good or bad, I learn from what you have to say.
And go check out Calloused for yourself. After receiving this hate mail from JB, I went to their myspace page and gave them a second chance. It certainly sounded better than what I heard on the day of Crue Fest.
PS - JB, I'm STOKED that you're still reading my blog. :)
Photo from http://www.bilerico.com/
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3 comments:
I've had my share of situations like this. People can't handle opinions. The internet is jammed up with blogs and websites because we're all allowed to utilize forums such as blogger, myspace, and twitter to say what we feel. This is freedom of speech. People who are interested in getting into the public eye, whether it be acting, music, or writing novels, need to be aware that they are putting themselves out there to be critiqued whether they like it or not. For every 10 people out there who love the band Creed, there's probably 350 people who utterly despise them. They don't really care because they have enough money to ignore it. Bad press hurts more when you're trying to make it in the industry. Sometimes though, a rookie band should heed some of their press because it will only help them. There's been plenty of times when bands would just get angry about something I wrote while others personally told me they were already aware of some of my nitpicks and they were working on improving them. Not everyone can be as mature, even if they were blowing smoke up my ass. Regardless, if people out there, like the guys in this band, and their fans...need not thrust themselves into the public eye if they don't have thick enough skin to handle criticism. I'm sure all artists have their set of detractors, but on the same token so do we bloggers, writers, and journalists. As Rizzo said in Grease "Some people are just so touchy..."
We get our share of hate comments, in fact they far exceed the "pats on the back." You learn they are just part of the game and take them with a grain of salt. Though, the first one will make you get anxiety and want to call them out about it. Your approach is the best one.
We also get our fair share of Cease and Desist orders. Those are the best, because you pissed someone off so much they called their lawyers. Here is to hoping your Cease and Desist order comes soon! The quickest way to get one is mention anything negative about a guy whose name rhymes with Dan Morrison.
Keep it real and if you ever want to write for our site, send us an email. We would love to plug your stuff while promoting your writing.
WHAT?!?!?!?! you aren't a nice girl. stop lying to your readers. :)
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