Monday, January 5, 2009

America is Stupid & Deaf

For real. You want proof? Just watch VH1's 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs.

VH1 asked the American public to vote on what they thought were the 100 greatest hard rock of songs all time. Apparently, I missed the damn memo because I didn't get to make my voice heard. So instead, a bunch of really stupid people voted and most of them had incredibly bad taste. Let me apologize if you are reading my blog and you voted; I'm guessing you were probably in the 1% who voted for all the shit I would have voted for.

Although I've only watched parts 3-5, it was enough to make my insides combust into flames of pure disgust. I'm not even sure if I can sit through the first two parts. And to add insult to injury, VH1 gets Bret Michaels to host. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Poison fan, but after Rock of Love, I'm no longer a very big fan of Bret. And case you're reading this, it is NOT cool to wear your own f-ing shirts; it only makes you look like an even bigger douchebag.

My biggest gripe about this list has to do with only one, single song: Led Zeppelin's Kashmir. How this song ended up so low on the countdown is beyond me. And how in the hell did Bon Jovi's You Give Love A Bad Name beat it out? Seriously? I love Bon Jovi and all, but there is NO WAY that song is better than Kashmir. I don't think there's any song that placed above Kashmir that is actually better.

Don't get me wrong, the top five songs are actually pretty strong and I'm completely at peace with those. That may be the only thing I agree with on this entire countdown. The top five consists of great songs and legendary bands. Even though I was surprised that Welcome to the Jungle snagged the top honors, I don't think it's too far off. That song and that band defined a very important moment in rock history, no doubt about it. But is Welcome to the Jungle better than Kashmir...I don't know.
Kashmir is just magnificent. It may be one of the greatest rock songs ever written, hands down. That song is big, full, and majestic. Listening to it makes my heart flutter and my hair stand on end. Hell, it's so bad ass even P. Diddy sampled it. There is just no denying its brilliance or the importance of Led Zeppelin.

And that is exactly why it boggles my mind that Kashmir wasn't in the top 5. Sure, Whole Lotta Love made the top 5 so I shouldn't bitch, but for me, rock doesn't get much better than Kashmir.

NOTE: I will be out for a week rockin' out on the Lynyrd Skynyrd Simple Man cruise! Nothing better than being stuck on a boat with Skynyrd and a bunch of red necks in the Bahamas! A full report when I return!

And check out the first of my bi-weekly column on Hard Rock Hideout on 1/7/09. Rock Whiplash by Christine Sixx!!!


Anonymous said...

VH1 is and has always been a popularity contest, the end. I've seen that list too, I think they made it quite a few years ago and keep re-showing it like it is something new...whatever. or they say its a new list, even though it has all the same songs on it as the last list.....Most of it is BS, yes, and everyone knows it, so why take it seriously...all a matter of opinion, and VH1's opinion doesn't count for anything, either...its just something for TV. Just to appeal to people who don't know better

Jay Amabile said...

i fully agree with Kashmir on being higher up on the list!

majorTom said...

Hi Miss, I'm writing from Italy (via hardrockhideout).
Nice blog, really.
I took a look at the 100 hard rock song ever but i thought ther was a mistake.
Many mistakes, indeed.
Some artists had not to be there (ramones? green day? who????).
Some groups had to be much higher with other songs (Judas Priest signature song is NOT breaking the law......Van Halen weren't considered in the top ten....).
I totally agree with you about Kashmir and Zep.
It was not a good chart, too much shit around.
See you soon, sister.

Hard Rock Hideout said...

I was amazed that Welcome to the Jungle topped their list. It is a good song, but to say Guns N' Roses is better than the acts that inspired them is absurd.

Matt said...

Yep, those lists are always ghey. Many many more songs better than Jungle.