RYAN Adams, Not Bryan Adams!

"You're going to see Bryan Adams?" That's usually the response I get when I tell someone that I'm absolutely ecstatic that I'm going to see Ryan Adams in concert. It "cuts like a knife" when people get the two confused (you know I just had to throw that in there). No offense to the Candian rocker, but Ryan Adams could kick Bryan Adams' ass up and down the streets of Ontario even on his most drug induced day.

If you're not hip to the ever so quirky crooner whose voice makes me swoon, then let me be the first to introduce you. Ryan Adams is an underrated, no longer under the influence alt country/rock super genius. He started out in a band called Whiskeytown and eventually ended up going solo. There were lots of drugs and alcohol spotted in-between and deeply woven throughout both the band and his solo career, but he has recently emerged sober and has remained that way.

His music is simple, clean, emotional, painful, dramatic, haunting and honest. It's moves you to the core and settles in your soul never wanting to leave you. The mere sound of his voice gives me goosebumps. I never thought I would fall in love with him like I did, but there's something about that man and his music that I simply cannot resist. It's a little bit country, and it's a little bit rock and roll. His recent stuff definitely has a more rock flavor, but there's no escaping his country roots. He has a loyal, die hard following with little to no radio play, and he certainly can't be found on MTV or VH1.

He played at the Palace Theater in Columbus last night. I attended the show with my trusty sidekick, Jessica, who also happens to be an uber Ryan Adams fan. I believe the show was sold out (like the last one we attended). As we made ourselves cozy in the velvet theater seating, he finally took the stage about 10 minutes late. I'm not holding that against him; I'm just trying to set the mood. He walked out in a Whitesnake T-shirt (Yes!) and later in the evening even made a reference to Britney Fox (YES!). The third song in, he busted out with his cover of Oasis' Wonderwall. In my personal opinion, Ryan's cover may be better than the original. That's saying a lot because I never think cover songs are better than the originals. He also played my all time favorite song, Come Pick Me Up, which he refused to do at the last show (no thanks to the two stupid bitches who kept screaming at him to play it). This my friends, was a real treat and may be one of the greatest concert highlights of my life. His voice was hauntingly beautiful and the band sounded amazing. To me, there were some sound issues at the beginning of the show (it sounded a little too tinny for my taste), and Ryan was very obviously making adjustments all night, but it all eventually came together very harmoniously.

Ryan's stage show is not what you'd normally expect from a rock show. You can hear the light murmur of the crowd, but there certainly isn't very much shouting (except for in-between songs or when he plays a crowd pleaser). There aren't a lot of fancy lights or pyro, just a couple of props, some instruments, and some incredibly talented musicians. This time, he talked to the crowd a lot in-between songs. I'm pretty sure he put his sassy pants on because he was telling jokes and silly stories, making up songs about a remote control, talking about his obession with metal, talking about going to dinner with Alanis Morrisette and getting her hair caught in his jacket zipper...the man was all over the place. It made for a very entertaining evening. It was nice to listen to his banter and experience his personality.

The one thing you don't want to do when you see Ryan live is yell out songs that you want him to play. He doesn't appreciate it at all, and it will cause him not to play whatever song it is that you want to hear. Although this time he was a lot nicer about it (ask the two girls at the last show how nice he was to them), he simply asks the audience to enjoy the show that he is presenting to them. It's not a lot to ask for.

His stage prescence is like that of a 12 year old boy standing in front of his entire class getting ready to play the talent show. He actually reminds me a little bit of Waldo from Hot for Teacher, only grown up: skinny, awkward, and wearing black rimmed glasses. It's not that he's inexperienced or even awkward. It's not like that at all. He's just incredibly artsy and deep with an almost child like innocence (even though we know he is SO not innocent). Does that make sense? Probably not. You just have to see him live to understand. There's just a lot of lunging, crouching, and adjusting of the micorphone.

He's very aware that people are there to see him, and it he makes it very clear how uncomfortable that makes him. I think he's just spent so many years building himself up and becoming an incredible performer, that now he just wants to shift the focus on the band. He's in a band. They're called The Cardinals. It's not Ryan Adams & The Cardinals. It's just The Cardinals, and he just happens to be a member of that band. No big deal. Let's move on...

If this little blog isn't enough to make you want to go out and listen to some Ryan Adams, then there may be no hope for you. He's certainly different, a variant to my normal musical selection, but he's so worth a listen. He won't disappoint you. You may not like his music, but you should at least be able to appreciate his genius. And if you listen to him and hate him...well...maybe your musical taste just sucks. ;)

Fun Fact: Ryan Adams and Bryan Adams were both born on the same day: November 5th, which also happens to be my birthday. And Gram Parsons shares this birthday too! Hot damn!

What?!?!? Could It Be? Really????

As I was watching TV this morning, Good Morning America had a teaser with Clay Aiken purporting that he was finally going to open up and confess something really personal. I sat back and thought to myself, "Golly gee...I wonder what he's going to talk about?" Maybe that he's a man whore and has actually slept with more women than Gene Simmons? Did he sleep with some girl and get her pregnant? Did he actually have sexual intercourse with his baby's mama? Of course, I had to go to work, so I never got to see what the fuss over Clay Aiken was all about.

Then I saw the cover of People in the check out line of the grocery store during my lunch break: Clay Aiken is gay! What? Are you for real? This can't be! Clay Aiken gay? Who woulda thunk it?

Come on people! Really? You needed People magazine to make you realize that Clay Aiken was gay? I knew he played for the pink team from the very second I saw his geeky ass on American Idol. How could the American public not know? It's SO freaking obvious! From his feminine voice and demeanor to his gay male following...it was like he was already the gay men's embassador before he came out.

Or perhaps People was just reporting what we already knew, like they were breathing a sigh of relief, "Whew! We can finally report that Clay Aiken likes men! We've been waiting for this moment since he lost Idol! Can you hear the hearts of little girls everywhere breaking? Can you?" Now can you hear the roar of the gay men's choir? Oh yeah...

The kind of disturbing part of this for me is that Clay Aiken's homosexuality took precidence on People's cover over the unfortunate accident of Travis Barker, DJ AM, and the lost lives of their friends. What kind of f-ed up society have we become when coming out of the closet becomes more important than the tragedy of others (regardless of who they are)? Sad. And I'm not even a big Travis Barker fan, and I only know DJ AM because he dated Nicole Ritchie, but I understand as a human being that their suffering should be the big news, not Mr. Aiken's love for men.

And another disturbing factor is that Clay's gayness was front page news, and there wasn't even a whisper about the death of Richard Wright, the keyboardist for Pink Floyd. Granted, he died a couple weeks ago, but his death is important nonetheless. It's bad enough that the media shunned the death of Jerry Reed but Richard Wright too? If Kenny Chesney or one of the Pussycat Dolls died, you bet your sweet ass that their "tragic" deaths would be all over your TV screens and gossip rags. Again, I'm not the world's biggest Pink Floyd fan, but no one can deny the importance or impact of their music. Therefore, the death of one of the founding members of such an influencial band should be all over the news.

Now that Clay Aiken has confirmed what all of us have already known, perhaps the world can move on to pondering bigger and better things like when Britney Spears' next breakdown will be or if Hugh Hefner can actually get it up.

Editor's Note: I apologize for my absence on this blog, and I apologize that my first blog back is about Clay Aiken. First it started with a crazy storm that knocked out power for a day (a week for some of my friends) and cable and internet for a week. Then I had to go out of town to the Dirty South, Atalnta to be exact. Now I'm back to harass you with my opinions. Did you miss me?

Also, please don't think for one second that I'm a homophobe. I'm not. I have a gay friend and a lesbian friend. That sounded a bit cliche, didn't it? Ha! But it's true! I do have gay friends. I love the gays! :)

Don't Call It A Comeback

Did anyone hear anything about Britney Spears opening the MTV VMAs this year? Anyone? Oh yeah...how could you miss it. Any time I tuned into MTV there was a commercial for the VMAs featuring Ms. Spears. It was all over the gossip shows: Britney Spears to open VMAs and make her big comeback!

Are you serious?

She did some not funny, not convincing comedy skit with Jonah Hill. Then the cameras watched her walk from her dressing room to the stage to...

To perform? Nope. Just to say about 10 words and introduce the 25th anniversary of the VMAs. And she was holding the microphone so high, you couldn't even see her mouth moving.

Why all the hype if she wasn't even going to perform? I was looking forward to a train wreck or at least a half ass performance to prove she's still got it. Not a chance! I didn't get any of that.

You want to know what the icing on the cake was? It was the next morning when all the news shows were commenting on how great she was and how this stint on the VMAs was really going to boost her career. They can't be serious. Oh...but they were. Totally serious.

She read a teleprompter, won some awards and acted like a normal person and not a complete lunatic. Big deal. Can she still sing and dance? Does she have any "talent" left in her? I didn't get one grunt, one booty shake...nothing!

She didn't really prove anything to me with that appearance except that she's taking really good meds to keep her craziness to a minimum.

NOTE: The next time I talk about Britney Spears, it will be to explain the Britney 3000. It's the top secret machine that gives the illusion that Britney (and many other pop stars) can actually sing. I swear to god it exists. I can't prove it, like I can't prove that Elvis is still alive, but I know it exists!

East Bound & Down

It was probably overshadowed by the hurricanes or the Republican National Convention...or because no one cares, but The Guitar Man, Jerry Reed, died on Sunday, August 31 from emphysema.

It may be strange to see me writing about him since you're probably used to me ranting about rock & roll, but I think it's only right to pay homage to this country music legend.

My first introduction to him was as the Snowman on Smoky & the Bandit. And let's be honest here folks...that movie kicks ass and you know it! My brother and I watched that movie all the time as a kid. Now I'm marrying someone who quotes the movie on a daily basis (that's no lie).

As I grew older, I learned about his music. I don't own any of his cd's, but I have definitely heard and listened to his music more than once. As a matter of fact, I just listened to one of his songs just a couple of weeks ago.

And let's not forget his fantastic role as Coach Red Beaulieu in the Waterboy!

I think it's sad that his passing didn't get the pomp and circumstance that it deserved. Like I said before, there may have been some bigger world issues that dominated the headlines at the time, but I still don't think he would have received the respect he should have gotten anyway.

So in honor of the talented musician and actor, go and watch Smoky & the Bandit (we have it on DVD...of course) or Waterboy or at least listen to East Bound & Down.

Over and out.